jónsi news

tour diary #7

December 3rd, 2010

jónsi’s manager john best is spending some time on the road with the band as they tour asia, here is the seventh installment of his tour diary

december 2nd, 2010 nagoya, japan

so before we go any further, we have an imbalance to correct, people. you know what i’m talking about. yes, it’s ok that jonsi dominates his own message-board topic-by-topic (last seen 127 pages and numero uno entry for the so-called ‘jontastic’ thread, updated one hour ago). equally i can understand that alex merits 4 pages and 118 comments, updated most recently yesterday. i can even credit that ‘doddi is a force of nature’ is good for 31 comments spread over 2 pages, again last updated yesterday. but, come on guys!, ulfur, no updates on his optimistically entitled ‘fan thread’ for a fortnight? this guy is busting his skinny balls for you night after night and this is how you repay him? look at his haircut! that’s worth a thread on its own, especially here in japan where every young man has this kind of beiber-esque wispy thing going on, only in black. come on people, show some goddam appreciation.



but, but, but…that is as nought compared to the tawdry treatment doled out to the nearly man, the quite riot, the nerd-done-good, selflessly tinkling the ivories, hammering the glock and bashing the shit out of the pots’n’pans drum-set gig after gig, show after show, tour after tour, always in the noirish gloom, out of the spotlight, just so jonsi can get 127 pages of sucky praise from a bunch of undeserving ingrates. yes, i’m talking about obo, ólafur björn ólafsson to you, the eminence gris of the whole jonsi live experience. he’s a proud man, some might say a great man, a man singly unconcerned by the fact the if you search the whole of the jonsi forum you don’t get a single result for “obo”, not a one. he only crops up in a word like “robot”. seriously what is up with that shit? if i were obo – and who wouldn’t want to be? – i would refuse to take the stage til someone, anyone, somewhere started a thread about what an ubermensch i am. it doesn’t have to sexually based (like much of alex’s), but that wouldn’t hurt either.

and if you don’t think obo is worth his own thread, consider this: (i) obo is the only member of jonsi’s band cool enough to get away with sunglasses on stage (although he did have to take them off because sarne, the monitor guy, couldn’t tell if was looking at him or not); (ii) obo is only member of the band who can do “the worm”, for real; (iii) obo thinks you pronounce cher as “chair” and genuinely believes this would be a better name; (iv) obo also thinks there is a second “b” sound in the word “bombing”; (v) and he calls christine aguilera “a feisty creature”, pronouncing feisty like “feasty”; (vi) obo is the only band member rock’n’roll enough to throw up in his own bunk. afterwards the bus driver was overheard blaming on “that ubu guy”. for his part, modest to the last, he believes just being in the band is cool enough and that it is unbecoming to go cap in hand begging for a thread. but i say what the f@ck?!, this man is a minor (key) deity. you know what to do.

no oil paintings